001399473 000__ 03314cam\a2200397\a\4500 001399473 001__ 1399473 001399473 005__ 20220628075444.0 001399473 006__ m\\\\\o\\d\\\\\\\\ 001399473 007__ cr\cn\nnnunnun 001399473 008__ 220628s2011\\\\mau\\\\\ob\\\\001\0\eng\d 001399473 010__ $$z2010047702 001399473 020__ $$a9780674061361$$qelectronic book 001399473 020__ $$z9780674046641 001399473 035__ $$a(OCoLC)ocn709593088 001399473 035__ $$a(CaPaEBR)ebr10456080 001399473 037__ $$a10.4159/harvard.9780674061361$$bDOI 001399473 040__ $$aCaPaEBR$$cCaPaEBR 001399473 05014 $$aBF575.F66$$bW39 2011eb 001399473 08204 $$a155.5/32$$222 001399473 1001_ $$aWay, Niobe,$$d1963- 001399473 24510 $$aDeep secrets$$h[electronic resource] :$$bboys, friendships, and the crisis of connection /$$cNiobe Way. 001399473 260__ $$aCambridge, Mass. :$$bHarvard University Press,$$c2011. 001399473 300__ $$a1 online resource (326 p.) 001399473 500__ $$aDescription based on print version record. 001399473 504__ $$aIncludes bibliographical references (p. [283]-314) and index. 001399473 5050_ $$aThe hidden landscape of boys' friendships -- Investigating boys, friendships, and human nature -- I: Friendships during early and middle adolescence -- "Sometimes you need to spill your heart out to somebody" -- Boys with feelings -- Nick and George: stories of resistance -- II: Friendships during late adolescence -- "When you grow up, your heart dies" -- As boys become men -- Fernando and Danny -- The crisis of connection. 001399473 506__ $$aAccess limited to authorized users. 001399473 520__ $$a"Boys are emotionally illiterate and don't want intimate friendships". In this empirically grounded challenge to our stereotypes about boys and men, the author reveals the intense intimacy among teenage boys especially during early and middle adolescence. Boys not only share their deepest secrets and feelings with their closest male friends, they claim that without them they would go "wacko." Yet as boys become men, they become distrustful, lose these friendships, and feel isolated and alone. Drawing from hundreds of interviews conducted throughout adolescence with black, Latino, white, and Asian American boys, this work reveals the ways in which we have been telling ourselves a false story about boys, friendships, and human nature. Boys' descriptions of their male friendships sound more like "something out of Love Story than Lord of the Flies." Yet in late adolescence, boys feel they have to "man up" by becoming stoic and independent. Vulnerable emotions and intimate friendships are for girls and gay men. "No homo" becomes their mantra. These findings are alarming, given what we know about links between friendships and health, and even longevity. Rather than a "boy crisis," the author argues that boys are experiencing a "crisis of connection" because they live in a culture where human needs and capacities are given a sex (female) and a sexuality (gay), and thus discouraged for those who are neither. The author argues that the solution lies with exposing the inaccuracies of our gender stereotypes and fostering these critical relationships and fundamental human skills. 001399473 650_0 $$aMale friendship. 001399473 650_0 $$aEmotions in adolescence. 001399473 650_0 $$aEmotions in children. 001399473 77608 $$iPrint version:$$aWay, Niobe, 1963-$$tDeep secrets.$$dCambridge, Mass. : Harvard University Press, 2011$$z9780674046641$$w(DLC) 2010047702$$w(OCoLC)676725355 001399473 8520_ $$bacq 001399473 85280 $$bebk$$hHarvard University Press 001399473 85640 $$3Harvard University Press$$uhttps://univsouthin.idm.oclc.org/login?url=http://dx.doi.org/10.4159/harvard.9780674061361$$zOnline Access 001399473 909CO $$ooai:library.usi.edu:427436$$pGLOBAL_SET 001399473 980__ $$aEBOOK 001399473 980__ $$aBIB 001399473 982__ $$aEbook 001399473 983__ $$aOnline