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Table of Contents
Intro
Contents
Introduction
Part I . Why EIPs Are the Way They Are
1. How would I know if someone was emotionally immature?
2. How can my grown-up parents be immature?
3. Are both my parents immature?
4. Why do they act like that?
5. They are so contradictory
it baffles me.
6. Why is it always about them?
7. Nothing I do is ever enough.
8. Why is it so hard to get close or share anything real with them?
9. Why do they make it so hard to want to be around them?
10. Is there hope for a better relationship?
Part II. How EIPs Have Affected You
11. My siblings had the same parents. Why are we so different?
12. It's like I don't exist around them. Why won't they listen or take my feelings into account?
13. I had to be the responsible one, the little grown-up, my parent's confidant.
14. I'm successful and have built a good life, but sometimes I feel like a fake.
15. Why can't they give me a little positive feedback?
16. I easily feel guilty, selfish, afraid, and full of self-doubt.
17. They always seem morally superior and "righteous."
18. My parent's religion made me feel afraid and unworthy
19. I was taught to believe things about myself that just aren't true.
20. I get overly emotionally involved in the EIP's needs and problems.
21. I can't think straight around them. I get confused and inarticulate.
22. I can't stand up to them. They always win.
23. I am so angry at them
I can't stop thinking about what they've done.
24. I've had some disappointing relationships. How do I do it right next time?
25. How do I make sure I'm not an EI parent?
Part III. Stepping Back
26. I can't help feeling guilty when they're upset with me
27. I know they're acting crazy, but I don't know how to respond when they're being absurd.
28. I just want them to love me and understand my feelings.
29. Every time I set a boundary, I feel like a mean, heartless person.
30. They say I don't love them enough or in the right way. Am I capable of love?
31. No matter what I do, they still seem hurt and betrayed.
32. I got free, but I miss our closeness.
Part IV. Saving Yourself
33. I traded authenticity for approval.
34. I want to be myself, but I fear rejection
35. Who am I really? How do I know for sure what's best for me?
36. I try so hard to do things perfectly that I exhaust myself.
37. I wish I weren't such a people pleaser.
38. It kills me to ask someone for help.
Part V. Solving Problems
39. I'm always nervous about angering or disappointing my adult child.
40. I still feel intimidated and apologetic around EIPs.
41. I'm so concerned about their reactions, it's hard to say my truth.
42. How can I get through to them?
43. I'm trying to be more assertive, but I keep going along with them
44. Even when I try my new strategies, I still end up feeling drained by them.
Contents
Introduction
Part I . Why EIPs Are the Way They Are
1. How would I know if someone was emotionally immature?
2. How can my grown-up parents be immature?
3. Are both my parents immature?
4. Why do they act like that?
5. They are so contradictory
it baffles me.
6. Why is it always about them?
7. Nothing I do is ever enough.
8. Why is it so hard to get close or share anything real with them?
9. Why do they make it so hard to want to be around them?
10. Is there hope for a better relationship?
Part II. How EIPs Have Affected You
11. My siblings had the same parents. Why are we so different?
12. It's like I don't exist around them. Why won't they listen or take my feelings into account?
13. I had to be the responsible one, the little grown-up, my parent's confidant.
14. I'm successful and have built a good life, but sometimes I feel like a fake.
15. Why can't they give me a little positive feedback?
16. I easily feel guilty, selfish, afraid, and full of self-doubt.
17. They always seem morally superior and "righteous."
18. My parent's religion made me feel afraid and unworthy
19. I was taught to believe things about myself that just aren't true.
20. I get overly emotionally involved in the EIP's needs and problems.
21. I can't think straight around them. I get confused and inarticulate.
22. I can't stand up to them. They always win.
23. I am so angry at them
I can't stop thinking about what they've done.
24. I've had some disappointing relationships. How do I do it right next time?
25. How do I make sure I'm not an EI parent?
Part III. Stepping Back
26. I can't help feeling guilty when they're upset with me
27. I know they're acting crazy, but I don't know how to respond when they're being absurd.
28. I just want them to love me and understand my feelings.
29. Every time I set a boundary, I feel like a mean, heartless person.
30. They say I don't love them enough or in the right way. Am I capable of love?
31. No matter what I do, they still seem hurt and betrayed.
32. I got free, but I miss our closeness.
Part IV. Saving Yourself
33. I traded authenticity for approval.
34. I want to be myself, but I fear rejection
35. Who am I really? How do I know for sure what's best for me?
36. I try so hard to do things perfectly that I exhaust myself.
37. I wish I weren't such a people pleaser.
38. It kills me to ask someone for help.
Part V. Solving Problems
39. I'm always nervous about angering or disappointing my adult child.
40. I still feel intimidated and apologetic around EIPs.
41. I'm so concerned about their reactions, it's hard to say my truth.
42. How can I get through to them?
43. I'm trying to be more assertive, but I keep going along with them
44. Even when I try my new strategies, I still end up feeling drained by them.