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Intro; Dedication; Preface; Acknowledgements; Contents; About the Author; Chapter 1: Introduction; Notes and Further Reading; Chapter 2: The Sun and Its Solar System: A Sexy Musical Pool Game?; Tycho Brahe: The Demon with a Metal Nose; Kepler's "Harmony of the Spheres"; Kepler's Cannonball Math Problem; Dr. William Whiston's "Cometary Catastrophism"; Charles Fourier's Interplanetary Sex Games; Immanuel Velikovsky's Interplanetary Pool Game; Nibiru: A Modern Solar System Cataclysm Theory; Two More False Planets; A Modern Scientific Theory of the Interplanetary Pool Game

Our Hollow, Cold and Inhabited SunThe Rev. Philip Francis and "The Temperate Sun"; Creatures Living on the Sun's Surface; The Miniature Sun; The Real Sun; Planetary Hide and Seek; Notes and Further Reading; Chapter 3: Our Three Wacky Inner Planets: Imaginary, Delusionary and Inhabited; Newton's Theory of Universal Gravitation; The Problem of Mercury's Orbit Around the Sun; Vulcan Is Born; Edmond Modeste Lescarbault Sees Vulcan?; Vulcan Disappears; Observations of Nonexistent Surface Markings on Planet Mercury; Pathological Science; A Moon for Mercury?; Venus, the Queen of the Planets

The Ashen LightThe Clouds of Venus; The "Canals" of Venus; Speculation About the Surface of Venus; Aliens on Venus; Was Earth Invaded by Bugs from Venus?; A Lost Moon of Venus; Notes and Further Reading; Chapter 4: Earth: Flat, Hollow or Inside Out?; Earth Is Flat?; Earth Is Stationary?; Earth Is Expanding?; Earth Has a Ring?; Earth Was Once a Six-Faced Tetrahedron?; Earth Is Hollow; Earth Is Inside Out; Are There Two Earths?; Notes and Further Reading; Chapter 5: Our Moon: Inhabited, Small and Icy; Our Unique Moon; How Was the Moon Formed?; The Moon Illusion; What Do You See in the Moon?

What Did Those Monks Really See?Erupting Volcanoes on the Moon; Are There Aliens on the Moon?; The Great Moon Hoax of 1835; Getting the Moon Plastered; Is the Moon an Alien Spacecraft?; An Alien-Built Bridge on the Moon?; Pathological Science Strikes Again!; A Slippery Moon!; There's More Than One Moon Up There!; "It Was the Moon That Made Me Do It!"; Advertising on the Moon; Notes and Further Reading; Chapter 6: Mars: Inhabited and a Threat?; Is There Life on Mars?; Percival Lowell and His Martian Civilization; Leo Brenner: The Man Who Made Enemies

George Ellery Hale and His Personal "Elf Service"More Martian Mysteries; Fear and Terror: The Moons of Mars; Gulliver's Travels and the Martian Moons; Are Phobos and Deimos Martian Bases?; Beware the Bees from Mars!; Notes and Further Reading; Chapter 7: Solar System Rubble: The Home of Princess Moon Owl?; The Non-existent Planet Phaeton; Aliens on Ceres?; Eat My Shorts! Bart Simpson Is on Ceres!; Naming the Asteroids; When the Solar System's Rubble Falls to Earth; The Death of the Dinosaurs; The Tunguska Explosion; The Mysterious Tunguska Cauldrons; Dodging Meteorites; Bugs from Outer Space?

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